Extreme Rules!

For those of you who pine for the days of WCW Uncensored....

....tonight's show seems a lot closer to that than anything that ECW ever churned out. Like last year, it's a show full of stip matches that aren't really fun stip matches, with a couple of notable exceptions. Also, the roster is much more talented in the ring - you won't have to deal with Hogan in First Blood matches that do not end when someone bleeds.

Let's get going right off the bat here....

WCW United States Championship
Fatal Four Way
Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy
Not sure why they did a title switch on Raw, but I actually caught the match and it was a good one. This should be as well, and I'd love to see MVP get at least a quickie shot at a title program.

Winner: Kofi Kingston
My Pick: The same

Samoan Strap Match
CM Punk vs. Umaga
Did you know Umaga talks now? He doesn't even sound unique, just like an angry fat guy. I used to love it when they'd give him the mic and he would just look at it like it was an alien before screaming some nonsense. Oh well. Punk got the win in a singles match on Friday, so we know who goes over here.

Winner: Umaga
My Pick: CM Punk

ECW Championship
Triple Threat Hardcore Match
Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Tommy Dreamer
If you're not watching ECW, you're missing some great stuff with the Tyson Kidd-led Hart Dynasty, which will hopefully be on the PPV shows very shortly. As it is, we get what may be Tommy Dreamer's retirement match, and as much as I personally feel for the guy, I don't think he's anywhere near popular enough to justify a title change. Then again, its a largely meaningless belt and it would mean a lot to him, so I'd like to see them give him a month with it. I just don't think they will, and really, I don't care all that much.

Winner: Christian
My Pick: Dreamer, I guess. You're all just future victims of Tyson Kidd, you know.

Hog Pen Match
Santina Marella vs. Vickie Guerrero
A Henry O. Godwinn appearance here would make the show worth buying.

Winner: Santina
My Pick: Santina

WWF Intercontinental Championship
No Holds Barred Match
Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho
I no longer watch Raw on a regular basis - I can only take so much when EVERY show starts with a 25-minute Randy Orton saunter to the ring, followed by the same promo he's been doing for months now - but since the draft, I've started watching Smackdown for the first time in years. It's incredible. I may never go back to Raw.

This angle has been good all around, but its best point was two weeks ago, when Rey was greeting masked fans of his at ringside and one of them was Jericho, disguised in the crowd. Sounds hokey, sure, but it came off perfectly and I can't wait for this match. Smackdown is bringing it every week in terms of both match quality and sheer entertainment, and I strongly urge all of you disgruntled Raw folk to hop on over to Friday nights.

And hey, how about this IC belt? I was actually right months ago when I mentioned that Rey might be the perfect match for it - now it's a central part of the #2 angle on Smackdown, has been defended on two straight PPVs, and is just right below the WCW belt in significance, sort of like the old version of the US belt. Edge and Mysterio even had a non-title, **** affair this week on Smackdown, with Edge going over clean in a great bout. I love this show.

Winner: Chris Jericho
My Pick: Jericho, maybe even unmasking Rey along the way. So long as they don't make him rap again, I'm cool with a one-time-only unmasking.

WWF Championship
Steel Cage Match
Batista vs. Randy Orton
Watching Orton around January, you would've been excused if you got the feeling that, with a bit of help, he might be about to ascend to the next level. Rather than just be WWF champion, he gave off an aura like he might be the next breakthrough, industry-changing phenom. I can't quantify the feeling; I only know that the same type of aura was around Austin in 1997, Rocky in 1998, and Lesnar in 2002, only they all sustained it for much longer. You could argue that RVD in parts of 2002 and Christian in 2003 had the same thing going, only, for whatever reason, they were never really shot to the next level.

You could just sense some sort of nervous energy in Orton's crowd reactions, something that made you think that he was about to turn the company on its end by getting his dickish rebel persona over as some sort of babyface antihero. With all of these situations, if you even THINK that a guy might have this aura around him, you push him to the moon, because the window often closes quickly. For the most part, and to their credit, that's what the WWF did. Unfortunately, the aura seems to be dead and gone.

I don't know what happened, exactly. The window may have just been two or three weeks, the WWF might have screwed up royally by putting the Hs over at Mania, or maybe Orton never really had it in the first place. What's sad is that watching Orton now, only a few months later, I'm pretty sure I've seen the best that he has to offer. In terms of mainstream popularity, mic work, ring work, character development, the overall package really, I think we may have already witnessed Randy Orton's peak. It's a shame, and I'm not even sure if there's anyone to blame for it going wrong.

Winner: Randy Orton, I'm sensing an Evolution three-way (please god not four-way) at Summerslam
My Pick: Orton, if only because we've had enough title changes lately.

Submission Match
John Cena vs. The Big Show
See, the storyline is that Cena can't do something, in this case get Show into the STFU. I'm betting that Cena does this thing, and that Cole and Lawler react both to that and to the inevitable FU on Show as if they've never seen anything like it before.

I, on the other hand, saw both of these guys fight last month, and it was an awful experience. I like both guys in theory, just not against each other.

Winner: John Cena, to just end this feud
My Pick: Cena, who's probably heading back into the title picture. It's been a year and a half since we got Cena-Orton last, but they may want to save that for Mania 26, who knows.

WCW Championship
Ladder Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Edge
Don't mean to catch anyone unawares, but the scuttlebutt is that Jeff Hardy's contract is set to expire soon and he may pull a Jericho and take some significant time off. He may, however, resign - he's said as much, and Smackdown is in dire need of babyfaces at the moment. Neither outcome would shock me here, but it could very well be an indicator of his contract status. Regardless of all that, this match is likely going to be awesome.

Winner: Jeff Hardy, with an extension or something announced tomorrow.
My Pick: Edge - not that I want Hardy gone, I'm just hoping they're serious when it comes to cooling it on the constant world title changes. Last month was a step in the right direction; Backlash was probably a "better" show, but I came away from Judgment Day feeling more positive about the state of the product due to the lack of title-belt hotshotting. We need a break from that, guys.

Recommendation:

Actually, I remember liking ONS last year, I'm quite pleased with the non-RAW aspects of the company, and this looks like it'll be a decent summer-kickoff show wih a few killer matches. Go ahead and buy this sucker, or just download it tomorrow. Because, you see - when Raw is as skippable as it is right now, you don't need to actually risk watching spoilers until Friday!

Anyway, enjoy the show.