The Bash Preview!

SHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Don't Tell Nobody!

Oh yes, its time for the Secret PPV, which was sadly advertised a bit on Monday. They were on such a roll before that. I'm actually kinda looking forward to it, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD let's not have any world title changes tonight, ok?

Quick picks, since we're already an hour and a half into the show (which I will be acquiring later on tonight):

WWF Tag Team Championship
Carlito & Primo Colon vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
We're getting something different in the opener, and I love that these guys are finally getting some PPV time.

Winner: Priceless
My Pick: Los Colons

No DQ Match
The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler
This is also different. I do not like this pairing as much. I'm not sure why its on here, but Meltzer said cryptically that there was a reason for it, so we'll see.

Winner: Khali
My Pick: Dolph, why not?

WWF Intercontinental Championship
Title vs. Mask
Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho
Don't know if this is the end of the feud, but god I hope not. I'd also like to mention how thankful I am that they didnt do anything dumb - like, say, insist that Rey only had one mask after Jericho stole his at Extreme Rules, and have him come out maskless until he gets it back. Seriously, I thought they might do that.

Winner: Rey Mysterio
My Pick: Rey Rey

ECW Championship
Scramble Match
Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger vs. Christian vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay
Woohoo! No Scramble match PPV this year! And we might get an all-Hell in the Cell ppv instead! Whoooooo-hoooo!

Winner: Schwagga
My Pick: Finlay

WWE Women's Championship
Melina vs. Michelle McCool
It's been a while since a non-Santina women's PPV match, hasnt it?

Winner: Melina, probably
My Pick: Michelle, who sucks less than Melina

WCW Championship
Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk
The build for this has been great, they finally have a match on top that feels fresh and from a storyline perspective, theres a case to be made that both guys are in the right. Looking forward to this one quite a bit.

Winner: Jeff Hardy
My Pick: CM Punk

John Cena vs. The Miz
Total wasted opportunity here, they could've done this in a way that didnt make Miz look like a clown, but its too late now and there's no way they give Miz the win here. At least they had the balls to go with this on PPV without The Big Show being involved.

Winner: John Cena
My Pick: The Miz, by some sort of crazy accident

WWF Championship
Three Stages of Hell
Triple H vs. Randy Orton
The pussy version of 3 stages of hell, that is, where the last one is "stretcher match" and not "cage match". Sadly on RAW, I was rooting for HHH to win the battle royal so that we could finally just get this feud over with. If that's not what theyre doing here, I give up.

Winner: Randy Orton
My Pick: Randy Orton AND NO MORE OF THIS

Recommendation: I'd be lying if I said I wasnt looking forward to watching this one, but the fact that its an hour and a half into the PPV already tells you all you need to know about the urgency involved. Pick this up tomorrow and watch it, but by all means don't spend dollars on it.