HELL IN A CELL!!!

My apologies for the extended absence; do not mistake it for apathy, at least not on the Smackdown end of things.

Of all the THEMED PPVs (hopefully an experiment that dies out in a year or so, but probably here to stay), this has by far the most promise. Sure, it could end up like Lockdown, where having every match in a cage dilutes the cage matches themselves, but we get THREE CELL MATCHES IN ONE SHOW. This may only happen once, and because of that, I'm giddily advising all of you to order the show tonight.

On to the picks!

WCW United States Championship
Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz vs. Jack SwaggerHaven't been watching the A show that much lately, but this title already seems beneath Swagger. Cena's going to need some challengers if he retains, why can't we give the ball to Jack and see if he can run with it?

Winner: Kofi Kingston
My Pick: Let Kofi retain, I'm still not sure how I feel about the New Miz

WWF Tag Team Championship
Batista & Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho & The Big Show
JeriShow has been fun and all, but it's getting to the point where Jericho is being held back by wrestling formulaic 10 minute matches with a guy who can barely move as his partner. If they want to switch the belts here, I'm ok with it, but giving Batista the tag belt might be a giveaway that CM Punk is dropping the main one later, since if he retains he'll need a babyface to feud with.

Winner: JeriShow
My Pick: The same, if only because Punk retaining means THAT much.

WWF Intercontinental Championship
John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler
Well-built, not rushed or given away for free, and the IC Title sort of means something here thanks to all the work Rey did to salvage it. I'm impressed.

Winner: Morrison retains, but maybe by DQ or something so Dolph can save face
My Pick: I like both of these guys much, much more than I did a few months ago, which means the WWF is getting something right. I'm rooting Morrison here, but anything would be fine with me as long as they get some time.

WWF One of the Women's titles, the one that looks like a butterfly
Mickie James vs. Alycia Fox
Who cares?

Winner: Mickie, probably
My Pick: Mickie. Why is this on the show?

Hell in a Cell
DX vs. The Legacy
I'm just as shocked as anyone, but rather than Spirit Squadding these guys, Michaels and HHH have actually made them look like credible threats, even going so far as to job to them last month. That won't happen again, but it would be amazing if it did. If they're serious about making new stars, tonight's the night. Likely to be a very good effort no matter the winner, though.

Winner: DX
My Pick: Legacy

WCW Championship
Hell in a Cell
The Undertaker vs. CM PunkIf you're not watching Smackdown by now, you've probably missed the best parts of 2009 already. CM Punk is REALLY coming into his own as a heel, and a win here would just do worlds of good in terms of taking him to another level. Especially with Taker hobbled, now is the time to tap into that mystique and whatnot, and use it to put over the future of the company. The Choice of a New Generation, if you will.

Winner: CM Punk. I think they'll really do it this time, albeit probably not cleanly. Vince has been foreshadowed as the screwjob-mastermind on SD, and maybe that or Punk's rumored bodyguard will factor into the finish tonight.
My Pick: Punk, fervently.

WWF Championship
Hell in a Cell
John Cena vs. Randy Orton
So the verdict is in: the Age of Orton was a huge failure as champ, and I don't see why they'd switch it back to him here. Now that the strap's on Cena, I hope they keep it there until at least Wrestlemania, maybe even longer. Thing needs some credibility, and as much as we may all have been bitching at the time, Cena's endless reign from 2005-2006 is one of the best things that's happened to the belt in ages. 100% for Cena here, just as fervently as I want Punk and Legacy to win.

Winner: John Cena
My Pick: John Cena

Overall: ORDER THIS. You get THREE Hell in a Cell matches, and I'm very interested to see what these guys do with it - remember, no one has even so much as climbed this thing before Cena and Orton did it on Raw. My hopes are high, and I can't see any WWF show looking this good on paper for at least the rest of the year.

Enjoy the show.