WrestleMania XXIV Preview

In which my excitement grows more out of control by the second...

Okay, I realize that the build to WrestleMania has been considered less than stellar by some this year, but if anyone caught the HOF telecast last night and ISN'T ordering/watching this PPV, well, I just don't know what to tell you. Ric Flair's speech was delivered primarily with the Nature Boy looking at notecards, since if he looked up at any point, he probably would've begun crying. It was moving, emotional (several Superstars in attendance were in tears), and heavily clipped - he went for an hour and a half with officials constantly trying to get him off of the stage, and we only saw 15 minutes of it. I'll buy the WM24 DVD for nothing else but the full Flair speech, regardless of how tonight goes. The speech, coupled with this Monday's promo, has me more psyched up for this match than any other on the card, and I will unabashedly be marking out like a little girl. Everyone knows who's going over tonight, but man, how special would it be if Flair got the win? I can't wait, and I don't think the rest of the card will be that bad either.

Before we get to the matches, check out the Citrus Bowl itself:



Unlike Ford Field, or the Horizon, or any of the other more recent WrestleMania buildings, this one doesnt really host anything else with the exception of the Citrus Bowl. As a result, the WWF has gone all-out here and made this into basically an entire stadium that's customized with WrestleMania in mind. This is what I'd love to see them do for every WM - target otherwise vacant stadiums like the Astrodome and completely trick them out for the biggest event of the year. There are supposedly fireworks going off from a nearby lake ($300,000 worth of pyro!) as well as a Marine flyover and a rumored TNA Impact plane (sorry, TNA iMPACT, feel the edginess!!!). This is gonna be one hell of a spectacle, and the fact that it's outdoors and that it might rain is only going to make this night that much more special.

Also, I'm not a big TNA fan as it is, but the way they've handled this weekend as a whole just proves exactly how Busch-league their operation really is. For all of the comparisons they get to WCW, they can't even TOUCH WCW in ratings or any other category, and this has proved it once and for all. Ideally, a company that fancies itself as the "cool alternative" (Jarrett's words, not mine) would have a built-in fanbase that would welcome their rival with open arms, but deride them at every opportunity. This isn't even ECW-level; the WWF's biggest PPV of the year is taking place in their hometown tonight, and not only is a football stadium nearly sold to capacity (which would be about ten times TNA's biggest crowd ever), but I guarantee not even one "TNA" chant breaks out tonight. As much as I'd like to see a major alternative to the WWF - to freshen up the product, if nothing else - TNA is NOWHERE NEAR that point yet, and they don't seem to be making any progress towards it. Showing one of the Highlanders in their audience and nearly getting him fired when he came to the show to see his pals? Flying a plane with a banner over the Citrus Bowl? Preventing their stars, Sting included, from seeing Flair's induction last night? This all smacks of a promotion that's agonizingly aware of its minor-league status.

Sorry, rant over, today's a happy day. Below are both my picks for the likely winner, as well as the guy I'll be drunkenly marking out for.

In projected match order:

24-Man Battle Royal - Winner Faces ECW Champion (Chavo Guerrero)

Don't forget folks, tune into WWE.com at 6:30 for this baby! It joins the pantheon of classic pre-WrestleMania giveaways, hopefully topping Huckster v. Nacho Man in terms of match quality. (Side note: Jesus Christ, that was 12 years ago!)

My guess is that the ECW match itself is second on the Mania card, but it doesn't have its own graphic, so we'll stick it here. I like Scott Keith's idea of Dreamer getting the win here and finally fulfilling his dream of winning the ECW championship at WrestleMania; if I had to give another pick, it would be Kofi Kingston, who's a tremendously entertaining newcomer - his catchphrase is a noise, which automatically tops those of 90% of the roster. Hulu has full ECW shows up, if you ever need to kill a good deal of time. Most of them are worth watching just for his parts.

Regardless, a face should win here, and probably will take the belt from Guerrero later on because its WrestleMania and all.

Winner: Probably Kane or something
My Pick: Dreamer

SmackDown vs. RAW: Batista Vs. Umaga
Pretty clear that they didn't have any other plans for either guy - my guess is that Batista vs. HHH was on the books until he lobbied for the title match instead. This could either be a slightly pleasant surprise or a very bad mix; Umaga's an underrated worker, but I don't know what he can do with Batista. I also don't know who cares about a SmackDown/Raw rivalry, but maybe the kids are into it.

Winner: Batista
My Pick: Umaga

Pretend Main Event
Floyd "Money" Mayweather vs. The Big Show
Worthwhile if only for the RAW segment where we learned that Floyd always keeps a million dollars' cash in a duffel bag, just in case. Mayweather's agent has apparently promised "the surprise of a lifetime" here, while the WWF is gravely concerned that this is going to go poorly. Wouldn't be shocked if De La Hoya shows up here; regardless of this match probably ending up worse than Bigelow-LT (which was surprisingly ok, actually), I'd be lying if I said I was planning to leave the room for one minute while it's on.

Winner: Mayweather, because last time he broke Big Show's nose, and this time, he's going to break his jaw. Just in case you didn't know.
My Pick: Titan the Corporate Giant

Money In The Bank Ladder Match
I liked it with six guys much more than the eight-man fiasco last year. I doubt they give it to Kennedy again, as he's quickly becoming just a catchphrase. Matt Hardy may have let the cat out of the bag this morning at that charity brunch deal, and I'm betting on a surprise return and victory here, which is only fair given the way they've treated him throughout his career.

Winner: Matt Hardy
My Pick: CM Punk or MVP, both of whose work I continue to enjoy.

Belfast Brawl - Finlay vs. JBL
The storyline leading to this has been awful, I know, but this could actually steal the show given the right conditions and a lack of McMahon/midget interference. I'm betting on an abundance of McMahons and midgets, so this probably becomes a schmozz, but Finlay can work with anybody, and JBL's best performance was in a no-rules street fight against Cena. Finlay's a better brawler than Cena.

Winner: Finlay
My Pick: Finlay


Career Threatening Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair
The aforementioned "reason I'm buying this show", and a match I would be fine with the WWF putting on last, even though I generally hate it when the last match isn't the WWF title match. I'm hoping it goes 30 minutes, and that Flair hits all of the standard Flair spots that he hasn't really been able to hit since the mid-90s. And holy god - if they give Flair the win here, I mean....holy god. I'm already going to be marking out at embarrassing levels. This is probably going to be difficult for Flair to get through emotionally, but regardless of "workrate" or any of that stuff, the crowd is going to make this one unforgettable.

Winner: Shawn Michaels
My Pick: The Nature Boy, obviously

Playboy BunnyMania Lumberjack Match - Ashley & Maria vs. The Glamazon & Melina
Possible wrestling, probable stripping. After Michaels-Flair, the crowd is really, really going to need a meaningless cool-down. I presume Santino will be at ringside, and if he is, he's going to steal the spotlight for this match. A WrestleMania with no Santino this year would truly be a shame.

Why isn't Mickie James in this match?

Winner: Who cares/soft-core porn enthusiasts
My pick: Excessive, gratuitous nudity

WCW Championship
Edge vs. The Undertaker
Everyone knows the winner; although Seth Mates' Double DQ idea would be great, in effect it would end the Taker's winning streak and make it a no-losing streak, which probably wouldn't play as well with the hicks. Regardless, I'm pulling for the last remnant of Canadian wrestling to retain, and if Batista had a good match with the Taker in Detroit last year, I see no reason why these two wouldn't tear the house down this year.

Winner: The Undertaker
My Pick: Edge

WWF Championship
Triple Threat Match
Triple H vs. Randy Orton vs. John Cena

Last match of the night I'm sure, and as evidenced by the reaction last night, the crowd's reaction to Cena is likely going to be extremely polarized. I find this odd, as the reaction I usually have to Cena is ambivalence. However, this is the last match of the night; I'll probably be rather drunk by the time it starts, and I'm usually a huge Cena fan when drunk. Let's just hope that they avoid the standard two-guys-battle-while-the-other-guy-lays-outside stuff.

Winner: Triple H
My Pick: Randy Orton
My Pick, Assuming The Consumption Of 8-10 Shots Of Vodka: John Cena

Again, folks, if you can't get excited for WrestleMania, I just don't know what to tell you. See you all tomorrow, where I'll post my thoughts on the show, as well as the Post-Mania RAW. Good tidings to all, and may you enjoy the best wrestling day of the year. Here's to hoping for a Rock surprise.