The Bash Preview!

SHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Don't Tell Nobody!

Oh yes, its time for the Secret PPV, which was sadly advertised a bit on Monday. They were on such a roll before that. I'm actually kinda looking forward to it, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD let's not have any world title changes tonight, ok?

Quick picks, since we're already an hour and a half into the show (which I will be acquiring later on tonight):

WWF Tag Team Championship
Carlito & Primo Colon vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase
We're getting something different in the opener, and I love that these guys are finally getting some PPV time.

Winner: Priceless
My Pick: Los Colons

No DQ Match
The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler
This is also different. I do not like this pairing as much. I'm not sure why its on here, but Meltzer said cryptically that there was a reason for it, so we'll see.

Winner: Khali
My Pick: Dolph, why not?

WWF Intercontinental Championship
Title vs. Mask
Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho
Don't know if this is the end of the feud, but god I hope not. I'd also like to mention how thankful I am that they didnt do anything dumb - like, say, insist that Rey only had one mask after Jericho stole his at Extreme Rules, and have him come out maskless until he gets it back. Seriously, I thought they might do that.

Winner: Rey Mysterio
My Pick: Rey Rey

ECW Championship
Scramble Match
Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger vs. Christian vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay
Woohoo! No Scramble match PPV this year! And we might get an all-Hell in the Cell ppv instead! Whoooooo-hoooo!

Winner: Schwagga
My Pick: Finlay

WWE Women's Championship
Melina vs. Michelle McCool
It's been a while since a non-Santina women's PPV match, hasnt it?

Winner: Melina, probably
My Pick: Michelle, who sucks less than Melina

WCW Championship
Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk
The build for this has been great, they finally have a match on top that feels fresh and from a storyline perspective, theres a case to be made that both guys are in the right. Looking forward to this one quite a bit.

Winner: Jeff Hardy
My Pick: CM Punk

John Cena vs. The Miz
Total wasted opportunity here, they could've done this in a way that didnt make Miz look like a clown, but its too late now and there's no way they give Miz the win here. At least they had the balls to go with this on PPV without The Big Show being involved.

Winner: John Cena
My Pick: The Miz, by some sort of crazy accident

WWF Championship
Three Stages of Hell
Triple H vs. Randy Orton
The pussy version of 3 stages of hell, that is, where the last one is "stretcher match" and not "cage match". Sadly on RAW, I was rooting for HHH to win the battle royal so that we could finally just get this feud over with. If that's not what theyre doing here, I give up.

Winner: Randy Orton
My Pick: Randy Orton AND NO MORE OF THIS

Recommendation: I'd be lying if I said I wasnt looking forward to watching this one, but the fact that its an hour and a half into the PPV already tells you all you need to know about the urgency involved. Pick this up tomorrow and watch it, but by all means don't spend dollars on it.

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Clash of the Temporary Champions Preview!

Likely with a better card than the "secret PPV" in two weeks...

There's a lot of stuff to complain about in the WWF these days. Rather than take a cue from UFC and book PPVs so that different titles are the centerpeice of different shows, McMahon has decided to have every major title defended on every show, with such a staggering amount of title changes that someone retaining a belt now feels as noteworthy as someone winning a belt used to. Sure, Smackdown and ECW are both consistently good now, but the constant title switches are making everything seem slapdash and unmemorable.

The good part of this, however, is that the WWF is inexplicably putting on a LOADED three-hour Raw tonight, even though we're less than 2 weeks away from a PPV ("The Bash") with no matches announced and little fanfare. Four announced title matches for tonight (hopefully only one title change) and this is really the modern-day equivalent to Clash of the Champions. I love when they put on these event shows. I just hope that after tonight, they GIVE IT A REST already with flipping the belts around.

Anyway, the picks.....

WWF Intercontinental Championship
Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho
Please, please give these guys a good 20 minutes or so.

Winner: Jericho, since he just wont he title and Mysterio may be having some sort of issues with the front office.
My Pick: Jericho

ECW Championship
Tommy Dreamer vs. Christian
Not sure what these guys can do together, but for now let's just keep the thing on Tommy, okay?

Winner: Tommy Dreamer
My Pick: Same

A Very Special Announcement From Vincent K. McMahon
Raw's getting a new GM! Wait....why does Raw always need a GM now?

New Guy: Ric Flair
My Pick: E. Stan Kroenke impersonator

WCW Championship
CM Punk vs. Edge vs. Jeff Hardy
Once again, I should mention that Smackdown is carrying the company right now from an entertainment perspective. I fully expect CM Punk to retain here and go just a little more heelish.

Winner: CM Punk
My Pick: CM Punk

WWF Championship
John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Randy Orton vs. Big Show
Anyone else having flashbacks to the 1997 four-way incident here? You know, the popular babyface winning the title and instantly vacating it amidst some very shady rumors, followed by a title change on Raw? This is a pretty cool main event for free tv, and whoever ends up with this thing hopefully gets to keep it for a long while.

Winner: Randy Orton
My Pick: John Cena

Recommendation: OF COURSE you want to watch this, its free tv! Expect a lot of WACKY FINISHES to build The Bash, unless they've just given up on that one completely.

Tomorrow morning, lets just hope that the WWF decides to turn over a new leaf and build up some long term champions.
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Extreme Rules!

For those of you who pine for the days of WCW Uncensored....

....tonight's show seems a lot closer to that than anything that ECW ever churned out. Like last year, it's a show full of stip matches that aren't really fun stip matches, with a couple of notable exceptions. Also, the roster is much more talented in the ring - you won't have to deal with Hogan in First Blood matches that do not end when someone bleeds.

Let's get going right off the bat here....

WCW United States Championship
Fatal Four Way
Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy
Not sure why they did a title switch on Raw, but I actually caught the match and it was a good one. This should be as well, and I'd love to see MVP get at least a quickie shot at a title program.

Winner: Kofi Kingston
My Pick: The same

Samoan Strap Match
CM Punk vs. Umaga
Did you know Umaga talks now? He doesn't even sound unique, just like an angry fat guy. I used to love it when they'd give him the mic and he would just look at it like it was an alien before screaming some nonsense. Oh well. Punk got the win in a singles match on Friday, so we know who goes over here.

Winner: Umaga
My Pick: CM Punk

ECW Championship
Triple Threat Hardcore Match
Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Tommy Dreamer
If you're not watching ECW, you're missing some great stuff with the Tyson Kidd-led Hart Dynasty, which will hopefully be on the PPV shows very shortly. As it is, we get what may be Tommy Dreamer's retirement match, and as much as I personally feel for the guy, I don't think he's anywhere near popular enough to justify a title change. Then again, its a largely meaningless belt and it would mean a lot to him, so I'd like to see them give him a month with it. I just don't think they will, and really, I don't care all that much.

Winner: Christian
My Pick: Dreamer, I guess. You're all just future victims of Tyson Kidd, you know.

Hog Pen Match
Santina Marella vs. Vickie Guerrero
A Henry O. Godwinn appearance here would make the show worth buying.

Winner: Santina
My Pick: Santina

WWF Intercontinental Championship
No Holds Barred Match
Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho
I no longer watch Raw on a regular basis - I can only take so much when EVERY show starts with a 25-minute Randy Orton saunter to the ring, followed by the same promo he's been doing for months now - but since the draft, I've started watching Smackdown for the first time in years. It's incredible. I may never go back to Raw.

This angle has been good all around, but its best point was two weeks ago, when Rey was greeting masked fans of his at ringside and one of them was Jericho, disguised in the crowd. Sounds hokey, sure, but it came off perfectly and I can't wait for this match. Smackdown is bringing it every week in terms of both match quality and sheer entertainment, and I strongly urge all of you disgruntled Raw folk to hop on over to Friday nights.

And hey, how about this IC belt? I was actually right months ago when I mentioned that Rey might be the perfect match for it - now it's a central part of the #2 angle on Smackdown, has been defended on two straight PPVs, and is just right below the WCW belt in significance, sort of like the old version of the US belt. Edge and Mysterio even had a non-title, **** affair this week on Smackdown, with Edge going over clean in a great bout. I love this show.

Winner: Chris Jericho
My Pick: Jericho, maybe even unmasking Rey along the way. So long as they don't make him rap again, I'm cool with a one-time-only unmasking.

WWF Championship
Steel Cage Match
Batista vs. Randy Orton
Watching Orton around January, you would've been excused if you got the feeling that, with a bit of help, he might be about to ascend to the next level. Rather than just be WWF champion, he gave off an aura like he might be the next breakthrough, industry-changing phenom. I can't quantify the feeling; I only know that the same type of aura was around Austin in 1997, Rocky in 1998, and Lesnar in 2002, only they all sustained it for much longer. You could argue that RVD in parts of 2002 and Christian in 2003 had the same thing going, only, for whatever reason, they were never really shot to the next level.

You could just sense some sort of nervous energy in Orton's crowd reactions, something that made you think that he was about to turn the company on its end by getting his dickish rebel persona over as some sort of babyface antihero. With all of these situations, if you even THINK that a guy might have this aura around him, you push him to the moon, because the window often closes quickly. For the most part, and to their credit, that's what the WWF did. Unfortunately, the aura seems to be dead and gone.

I don't know what happened, exactly. The window may have just been two or three weeks, the WWF might have screwed up royally by putting the Hs over at Mania, or maybe Orton never really had it in the first place. What's sad is that watching Orton now, only a few months later, I'm pretty sure I've seen the best that he has to offer. In terms of mainstream popularity, mic work, ring work, character development, the overall package really, I think we may have already witnessed Randy Orton's peak. It's a shame, and I'm not even sure if there's anyone to blame for it going wrong.

Winner: Randy Orton, I'm sensing an Evolution three-way (please god not four-way) at Summerslam
My Pick: Orton, if only because we've had enough title changes lately.

Submission Match
John Cena vs. The Big Show
See, the storyline is that Cena can't do something, in this case get Show into the STFU. I'm betting that Cena does this thing, and that Cole and Lawler react both to that and to the inevitable FU on Show as if they've never seen anything like it before.

I, on the other hand, saw both of these guys fight last month, and it was an awful experience. I like both guys in theory, just not against each other.

Winner: John Cena, to just end this feud
My Pick: Cena, who's probably heading back into the title picture. It's been a year and a half since we got Cena-Orton last, but they may want to save that for Mania 26, who knows.

WCW Championship
Ladder Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Edge
Don't mean to catch anyone unawares, but the scuttlebutt is that Jeff Hardy's contract is set to expire soon and he may pull a Jericho and take some significant time off. He may, however, resign - he's said as much, and Smackdown is in dire need of babyfaces at the moment. Neither outcome would shock me here, but it could very well be an indicator of his contract status. Regardless of all that, this match is likely going to be awesome.

Winner: Jeff Hardy, with an extension or something announced tomorrow.
My Pick: Edge - not that I want Hardy gone, I'm just hoping they're serious when it comes to cooling it on the constant world title changes. Last month was a step in the right direction; Backlash was probably a "better" show, but I came away from Judgment Day feeling more positive about the state of the product due to the lack of title-belt hotshotting. We need a break from that, guys.

Recommendation:

Actually, I remember liking ONS last year, I'm quite pleased with the non-RAW aspects of the company, and this looks like it'll be a decent summer-kickoff show wih a few killer matches. Go ahead and buy this sucker, or just download it tomorrow. Because, you see - when Raw is as skippable as it is right now, you don't need to actually risk watching spoilers until Friday!

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Backlash Preview

Come and watch what might be a very unwatched show....

Seriously, Mania was three weeks ago, UFC and TNA pay per views were last week, and the economy sucks beyond belief. Add that to a lackluster lineup, and the buyrate for this is likely to be historically bad.

A Wrestlemania review will be coming shortly, but here's a preview of my thoughts on it; one match was remarkably amazing, the others remarkably forgettable. Still glad I ordered it, but beyond Michaels-Taker it sort of underwhelmed. I think we're in for more of that this month, and Michaels and Taker are nowhere to be seen.

Tonight's show is from the Dunkin' Donuts Center in Providence, RI. Here's the card, as always in projected and likely incorrect match order:

Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho
Steamboat looked great on Mania and at the subsequent Raw, and this is one of the few midcard matches that might actually prop up the buys for this show. I can't wait to see it, and I'm just glad that Steamboat gets to have an official WWF Final Match, it beats going out as the fire-breathing Dragon character from the early 90s.

Winner: Ricky Steamboat
My Pick: Ricky Steamboat

CM Punk vs. Kane
Why? Why is this on pay per view? I love Punk but I wouldn't even really want to see this on Raw. The website claims that they're feuding over both almost winning the MITB match, or something, who knows.

Winner: CM Punk, because why would Kane go over anyone at this point?
My Pick: CM Punk and some sort of explanation for this

ECW Championship
Christian vs. Jack Swagger
They're finally letting Swagger back on pay per view! Not sure who's going to take this, but it'll be a great litmus test of McMahon's faith in Swagger; we all know he hates Christian, even if Christian wins here.

Winner: Jack Swagger
My Pick: Christian

I Quit Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy
Rumor has it that Jeff's contract expires this summer and he's not signing an extension, thus the repeated jobbing to Matt. Still, I think Jeff gets at least one redeeming win in what appears to be the blowoff to this. Bret making Owen this was not.

Winner: Jeff Hardy
My Pick: Jeff Hardy

Special "Really, This Is On PPV?" Edition of the Khali Kiss Cam with Santina
Oh lordy. I love Santino, but let's keep this short, ok?

WCW Championship
Last Man Standing Match
John Cena vs. Edge
I think I have this figured out, and here's where I hope they're going with it. Everyone knows that they're not yet at the point of actual brand reconsolidation, and that Smackdown's getting a title; therefore, the prevailing opinion is that Edge wins here, or that CM Punk immediately cashes in his shot against the winner. I don't see either of those scenarios happening, and here's why:

CM Punk has already hinted in an interview that he's going to provide advance warning with his challenge this time around, and that will hopefully do wonders to make him not look like a pussy. In addition, Judgement Day is one month from now, in Chicago, his hometown. I think I see one half of next month's main event.

As for the other half? Punk could face Edge after Edge brings the belt to Smackdown, but that would mean yet ANOTHER title change. What if Cena retains instead, then returns to the Rosemont Horizon (the home of Wrestlemania 22, where he was viciously booed out of the building) to face the hometown hero next month? The title change would mean more, a clean Punk win over Cena would mean more, Punk bringing the belt to Smackdown as the conquering hero would mean more, the BIG MOMENT would mean more, and you'd instantly have a top-level face on Smackdown (remember, Jeff could leave) who can spend the summer feuding with, you guessed it, Edge. The only impediment to this would be common sense, a formidable opponent for the WWF recently. I still think they're smart enough not to fuck this up.

Winner: John Cena
My Pick: John Cena

WWF Championship
Triple H, Batista & Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase
Really? Anyone on Team Legacy pinning anyone on Team McMahon wins the title for Orton? Cody Rhodes pinning Shane-O-Mac wins the title for Orton? It's not like anyone cares about this feud, but it would be nice if they didn't drag the belt down with them.

Winner: Randy Orton, but indirectly, somehow
My Pick: Orton via decisive pinfall over HHH, then a merciful end to the Feud That No One Wants To See

Recommendation:

For the past three pay per views, I've told you to shell out, and 2/3 of them at least were disappointing. This month, feel free to join the rest of the country in not paying for this show. I'll watch it illicitly tonight and try to get a review up, but please, don't pay for this. We're in a recession, and the point should be made that HHH v. Orton in any economy should not be drawing money.

Enjoy the show, or enjoy whatever else you choose to do with your money and your Sunday evening.
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Supplemental Draft!

Waste of time? Nah, no way...

Well, maybe, if you've seen the Smackdown spoilers, since most of their matches feature people who are ostensibly on Raw or ECW. Whatever, we'll do this anyway.

12:01: I'm a minute late already due to having to sign up for WWE Universe to see this

12:03: Okay, the format here is a chat room hosted by Howard Finkel and some other guy, just like last year - the first pick is Mr. Kennedy going to Raw, where I honestly thought he was already. Good to know he's still sort of on the radar screen, but I hear its doubtful that he ever wrestles again.

12:09: Just in case you're wondering, there isn't even a pretend explanation of how the draft picks are being made, which is sort of nice; the logic failures implicit in the real one were bad enough.

12:11: Oh crap, Shad to Smackdown with the second pick, which probably means he gets future endeavored sooner than later. Why are they breaking up any tag team that looks promising? I mean, it's not like they're priming JTG for the big singles push or anything. There are just as many comments from WWF mods on this live chat as users, but they're trying at least.

12:15: Hey, want to follow the WWF on Twitter? Because they really want you to.

12:18: As a quick measure of company faith in Shad, one of the WWF mods ads the comment: "sometimes there's not going to be success when a tag team breaks up"

12:20: After about ten minutes of people discussing this, Finkel chimes in with "his take", which is that Cryme Tyme will now split up into singles competition. Thanks for showing up, Howard.

12:22: Third pick....Alicia Fox to Smackdown (you probably know her as the wedding planner from, um, Smackdown, but apparently she's been "DJ Gabriel"'s sidekick in ECW). No advance indication of which brand gets which pick at any point, by the way

12:28: Okay, you knew they wouldn't let the day go by without an awful logical pretense provided for the context of the draft, so here you go.....they're all in the "WWE War Room", where they don't know how many picks will be made or by whom, but they get a call when it happens. Why it's a "war room" since they have no input in the picks at all, I couldn't tell you

12:30: Oh, god. Fourth pick is Primo to Raw - yes, Primo, one HALF of their recently-unified Tag champs. Maybe this is completely random.

12:32: Didn't Primo start on Raw anyway? How did he get over to Smackdown? What's the point of this draft? There's no way any of this is going to stick, I wouldn't be shocked if they didn't even bother to update the rosters and just chose to pretend that this never happened. We get this encouraging tidbit from The Fink: "There is no respect for Tag Team Wrestling...I said it was a lost art before...it's a dead art now!! "

12:40: Mike Knox to Smackdown is your 5th pick, and Fink is hinting that the tag titles might be retired entirely. I hope he's not in the loop on this.

12:50: Joey Styles chimes in to make fun of Josh Matthews' nosebleed problem, and your sixth pick is Ezekiel Jackson to ECW! Suggested poll question for the people at WWE who've posted 8,000 polls so far: Who's had their career wrecked more by the draft, The Miz or The Brian Kendrick?

12:59: People seem to be actually commenting now, as the mods are gleefully pointing out. Your next pick is Nikki Bella to Raw, because, you know, why keep a team of identical twins TOGETHER?

1:11: Candice to Smackdown, which I guess is getting the majority of picks as a restocking from Monday's roster pillage.

1:20: Great to see commenters with suggestions like "bring back The Rock". Certainly their comment in a live chat for the "supplemental draft" will convince Rocky to give up movies and make his return. 9th pick is Zack Ryder to ECW, by the way, which makes 3 tag teams broken up today (4 if you count the lady twins)

1:39: Last two picks were Chavo to Raw, which was inevitable, and Ricky Ortiz to Smackdown

1:49: Layla to Smackdown, another one where I thought they were already on that show. There are apparently over 40,000 people in their live chat right now, but it's worth noting that theyre making suggestions like "DRAFT ORTON TO ECW" and then getting mad at the mods when this does not happen.

2:00: 13th pick is Hornswoggle to Raw? They're breaking up even nominal pairings, like an Irishman and his midget? And now I have to see that midget every Monday? Arrrrrgh.

2:10: 14th is DH Smith to ECW; did he ever see the light of TV on Smackdown? Fink notes that this is probably a "paper transaction" and that he hopes to be proven wrong, let's hope Harry doesn't get future endeavored before he gets a shot.

2:19: Biggest pick of the day and the most necessary one: John Morrison goes to Smackdown. They have quite a few quality heels now.

2:30: Okay, disaster averted with the last two picks, Carlito just got sent to Raw and this whole thing is looking a lot better. That was the 16th pick, and if memory serves me right, there were 17 or so last year. I'd have to think this is reaching its end.

2:33: It is, but not really - the mod just said there are "less than 10" picks left.

2:37: Now they say that with Pick #17 coming up, "the GMs have promised" that we won't have any more than 25 picks. Yay. 17 is...Nattie to ECW! Sweet, all three active Harts on the same brand! I'll actually watch it now.

2:48: Here's a sample comment for you:

[Comment From Lets go, ECW]
I give up. None of the writers clearly care what good fans have to say.

And this was prompted by.....Natalya going to ECW???? What is wrong with these people?

The 18th pick is Festus to Raw, because why not. Now, officially, FIVE PICKS LEFT!

2:59: Hey, alright! JTG to Smackdown with Shad! Woohoo! Four picks left, might Finlay to Raw be in the cards now? and Dolph to Smackdown, given the results from last night?

3:29: the last two picks have been Dolph Ziggler to Smackdown and The Brian Kendrick to Raw. Kendrick teaming with the Miz is an absolute CERTAINTY.

3:31: Charlie Haas to Smackdown with the 22nd pick, and we're down to the last one!

3:40: Apparently not - Hurricane Helms to ECW, and the next is the last, they promise. I hope they bring back his WCW theme for his ECW run.

3:49: Last pick is....Brie Bella. Well, they didn't exactly finish strong, but at least it's over, eh?

Final Thoughts:

I was pretty sure that they'd beef up Smackdown here, but it's the only show that actually lost roster members overall; that could be deceiving though, since the Colons will appear on any show regardless (and so will everyone else, for that matter). For better or worse, we'll get to see Morrison on his own on Fridays, and the new blood could really help ECW - I'll tune in for Helms and the Harts alone. Sure, the logic behind this was mind-numbing, but if they stick to the roster delineations, most of these could work out nicely.

Never, ever waste four hours of your life covering one of these, though.

Supplemental Draft Picks

Raw (net +3)

Carlito & Primo Colon
Mr. Kennedy
The Brian Kendrick
Hornswoggle
Festus
Chavo Guerrero
The Bella Twins

Smackdown (net -4)

John Morrison
Cryme Tyme
Mike Knox
Ricky Ortiz
Charlie Haas
Dolph Ziggler
Candice Michelle
Alicia Fox
Layla

ECW (net +1)

Hurricane Helms
Ezekiel Jackson
DH Smith
Zack Ryder
Natalya Neidhart
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The Return of Sober RAW Monday: Draft Edition!

Live tonight from Atlanta, GA!Live tonight from Atlanta, GA!

Soooo, this is likely just going to be a decimation of the secondary rosters for the betterment of RAW, I'd say. We'll keep track of the roster shifts throughout the night.

8:07: Batista's out and he wants a piece of Orton for taking him out with a Concussion Punt for four months; oddly, Shane and HHH both want revenge as well. The Heat Machine on Wheels that is Vickie Guerrero gives them a 3-on-2 match against Priceless later, winner of the fall faces Orton one on one next week.

8:49: MVP's your first draft pick to Raw, and Big Show's the second after a very decent Mysterio/Bourne match.

8:51: Michelle McCool wins a draft pick for Smackdown and it's......Melina, apparently with the women's title. This and the MVP pick probably mean that Rey and whoever the Divas champ is are moving.

8:57: Champion vs. semi-champion, Cena vs. Swagger for TWO picks. Something tells me those won't go to ECW.

9:11: Long match, but Cena wins with the STFU and Raw gets.....Matt Hardy and Triple H, oh goody. Edge attacks Cena from behind while he gazes dreamily at the Game. At this point I almost want Raw to get every pick so that we can move yet one step closer to ending the brand split. I'll be thrilled, though, if they fix the world title situation by drafting Cena to Smackdown.

9:28: Okay, Smackdown's set to catch a break here, Santino vs. The Great Khali for a pick. Beht joins us to mention that if Santino loses, Santina gets to be a guest on the Khali Kiss Cam next week. Of course, Khali wins quickly, and Smackdown gets.....CM Punk, which makes sense

9:33: Miz and Morrison are up next, it took me a moment to remember that they're allegedly on Raw at the moment.

9:38: Never mind, theyre on ECW (????) and Miz is taking on Raw's Kofi Kingston for a pick. This has to be another for Raw, otherwise they wouldve put Morrison in there.

9:50: Nice, long ***ish match that Kofi wins by DQ due to Morrisonterference, got a feeling they get split here. Raw's pick is.....The Miz! And just like that, his career's over. They embrace....but Miz hits a Reality Check on Morrison, and why, why, why????? Two draft picks on the line in the battle royal, up next.

9:55: Each brand sends down 5 guys in branded tshirts; if I were the Raw guys Id watch out for Show, I think the last time this happened he was wearing an ECW shirt underneath. Why is Chavo on SD when he and Vickie are now on Raw?

10:00: Edge wins this for SD by letting Show and Mark Henry fight it out (not pretty)and then getting out of the way of a charging Show. Smackdown's two picks (which have to be their last two of the night, right?) are.....Kane, poor guy, and CHRIS JERICHO! I may not watch Raw anymore, jeez. Pleeease let him align with Edge for some sort of Canadian Violence faction. Three picks left.

10:16: Christian vs. Shelton, joined in progress by me. ECW has to get a pick here. Sure enough, Christian wins with the Unprettier, and ECW picks.....hahahaha, Vladimir Kozlov

10:18: Commercial break. Okay, so we know that they won't keep both titles on one brand, right? Orton cant really get drafted to SD anymore unless Edge goes to Raw; the three top heels all on one of the off-brands won't help anyone. Barring a CM Punk surprise at Backlash, does this mean that Orton and the WWF belt (when he wins in that ridiculous stip match) stay on Raw, with Cena and/or the WCW belt rightfully goin back to the B show (rightfully for the belt, not for Cena)? I'd really like to see these next two picks. Can't be a good sign for them that I'm far less interested in what theyre promoting as the main event for tonight, which doesnt seem to be for picks.

10:26: CM Punk (repping Smackdown now) vs. Matt Hardy, repping Raw.

10:32: Jeff attacks Matt and thereby wins the pick for Raw; why arent the GMs sending people in to do that for every match? Raw gets.....Maryse, the Divas champ! Called that one, if nothing else. One more left, then I'm likely peacing out before the main event.

10:38: Okay, it's the final draft pick match, and Jericho is out for Smackdown to fight Tommy Dreamer, so there's no way they lose this. They usually end on a big name - could it be Cena? Orton? It's probably just Rey...

10:45: Jericho wins the pick, and it's......yep, it's Rey Rey. That's it for me - I could give a shit about the main event - but I'll see you this Wednesday at Noon for live blog coverage of the, um, liveblog of the Supplemental Draft! Tonight's results are below.

RAW

Triple H (from SD)
The Big Show (from SD)
Matt Hardy (from SD)
MVP (from SD)
The Miz (from ECW)
Maryse (from Smackdown)

SmackDown

Chris Jericho (from Raw)
CM Punk (from Raw)
Rey Mysterio (from Raw)
Kane (from....ECW? Maybe Raw?)
Melina (from Raw)

ECW

Vladimir Kozlov (from Smackdown)

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WrestleMania XXV Preview

Good gracious, it's WrestleMania Day!

As much as people carp that the WrestleMania build sucks every year, it REALLY sucked this year; to fully appreciate the inane storylines, head on over to www.f4wonline.com and check out some of the free episodes of the Bryan & Vinny show. Truly funny stuff, and they make it sound even worse than it is.

Now, they may have screwed some things up (a love triangle storyline for the WCW title match, odd choices for MITB and then giving the match away on free tv a bunch of times, a main event where we're supposed to be pulling for the McMahons), but there are still quite a few reasons why I'm looking forward to the event tonight:

- While a lot of the matches are predictable, I really don't know who's winning either of the title matches, even with the alleged match order having already leaked online (my predictions are in that order below, replacing my usual guess at the match order, which was 100% wrong at No Way Out). The Draft is in about two weeks I think, so you don't even have to factor in long-term continuity in terms of which brands have belts - they can book themselves out of that very quickly. On the other hand, I don't care as much about who wins, since the belts (after a 2004-2006 resurgence in long title reigns) have largely become Russonian props again.

-Also, no idea who's winning MITB, and this year that's not a good thing. None of these guys seem like they'd have a shot at a non-joke title reign. On the other hand, that could mean a surprise entrant, or some wacky shenanigans like someone winning & then cashing it in tonight. If not, at least the element comes back to the live product where we really believe that it could be cashed in at any time.

- Stadium Wrestlemanias are the best kind, and last year's decked-out Citrus Bowl was possibly the best-looking set I've ever seen for a wrestling event. This year it's in Houston, of course, and while it would've been neat to see them return to the abandoned Astrodome (site of potentially the greatest PPV of all time, WrestleMania X7), they prudently realized that there's no real way to top that show, and went instead with the state-of-the-art facility across the street. Ladies and gentlemen, Reliant Stadium!
This is going to be sweet. It'll probably look more along the lines of Ford Field two years ago than the Citrus Bowl, but we'll see it in HD, and who knows, they might even keep the roof open for some extra awesomeness. If nothing else, Wrestlemania 25 (NOT the 25th Anniversary) will be very pretty.

Now, onto the matches!

WWF Intercontinental Championship
Rey Mysterio vs. JBL
Hey, it's the IC Title! Being defended at Mania! Sweet!

Tazz mysteriously "quit" earlier this week and the open Smackdown announce chair coincides with JBL promising to make history tonight; count me among those who believe that he beats Rey and then retires with the belt here.

Winner: JBL
My Pick: Eh, what the hell, JBL if it gets him out of competition and back in that announce chair, where he might just be the best of all time.

Money In The Bank Ladder Match
CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian vs. Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Finlay
Eight guys that we've seen every combination of in the past few weeks on Raw and Smackdown, and too many guys in general. I'm guessing this will be among the lesser of the MITB matches, but my favorite one ever (WM22) also had a lot of guys who didn't seem like natural fits for it, so who knows. Shelton probably steals the show here, but as for the winner, I don't have a clue. Before he was added to the WCW title match, Big Show was apparently booked to win this, so I wouldn't be shocked if they gave it to someone like Kane.

Winner: MVP, who certainly deserves it after that losing streak gimmick
My Pick: Christian, he of the Worst Headshot Vince McMahon Has Ever Seen

Legends Challenge Gauntlet Match
Chris Jericho vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, & Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat (w/ Ric Flair & Mickey Rourke)
You know, this might not be awful. If nothing else, it provides another WM payday to four old-timers who really deserve one, and the crowd will probably like it when Mickey Rourke clocks Jericho. Don't rule out seeing Austin here, either.

Winner: The Legends, after Jericho eliminates two of them.
My Pick: I was born in the 80s, I can't root against Rowdy Roddy Piper and friends.

WWF Tag Team Championship Unification Lumberjack Match
Carlito & Primo Colon vs. John Morrison & The Miz
Ok, so not only are the tag titles being defended, they're being UNIFIED??? This is already my favorite match of the nightI don't know what they plan to use for the Unified belts, but I hope it's not the bland Raw belts; either stick with the Smackdown ones, or go with a modernized version of the old "World" logo ones, ok?
Top, not bottom. See? See how nice they look?

Winner: John Morrison & The Miz get their Wrestlemania moment
My Pick: Really, anything but some kind of double-DQ that robs us of a unification. I WAS PROMISED A UNIFICATION!

Extreme Rules Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy
CW here is that Matt wins ala Owen over Bret at WMX. I'm not so sure; That feud went until Summerslam, and I think they may have an eye to ending this feud sooner than later, especially with the introduction of a gimmick match here. I know this is a throwaway match for some, but I have a feeling that kids watching may consider this the big match of the night.

Winner: Jeff Hardy
My Pick: Jeff, so that he can start facing opponents with world titles again.

Kid Rock Performs Live!
Winner: Jesus fucking christ, no one

Miss WrestleMania 25
25-Diva Battle Royal
If Mae is in this, Mae is winning, since she can't take an over-the-top-rope bump. If not, though, I think our favorite Italian has it.

Winner: Santino Marella
My Pick: Trish if she's there, or Gail Kim....or Santino, why the hell not

WCW Championship
Edge vs. John Cena vs. The Big Show
I was expecting this to go on last, given what I thought the results might be. Now? I have no idea.

Winner: John Cena, probably, since he got pinned clean on Raw.
My Pick: Edge, or Show, or Cena if I'm drunk enough. I like all three to a certain extent.

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker
Your probable Match of the Night, one that we haven't seen since 1998 (both guys are notably better since, even a more-hobbled HBK). No Streaks are ending tonight, but I wouldn't be shocked were this to main-event the show. If you're torn over who to root for here, read the Montreal portion of Bret Hart's book, where Undertaker is standing by Hart ready to fight and Shawn is cowering in tears, disavowing all knowledge of it. Times change, but still, that should tell you all you need to know.

Winner: Undertaker
My Pick: Undertaker

WWF Championship
Triple H vs. Randy Orton
And here's the headscratcher. This is apparently on last, and logic would dictate that the face wins; however, Orton really needs a win here, and Triple H doesn't, not so much at least. It's also not as simple as "HHH wants to book himself to win" - he's put people over at 4 out of the last 5 Wrestlemanias (Orton included, in a triple threat last year) and didn't participate in the 5th one due to injury. If he wins here, blame the McMahons for wanting to close out the 25th "anniversary" with a family celebration. Triple H himself has shown that he'll do whatever it takes to make Orton.

If Orton were to win, you'd think that either a Cena title win or the Shawn-Taker match would go on last, so the fans go home happy, right? Well, here's where they could really surprise and impress me.

They've already had heel Orton win the Rumble - Yoko was the only other heel to make that happen besides Vince himself - and if they put him over in the last match of the night and sent the fans home pissed off, well, that could send him to the stratosphere. I don't know that he could hold his own after that, but the WWF could never again be accused of not pushing him to the moon and giving him every chance. This could absolutely take him to the next level; I don't know what it would do for HHH besides providing the visual of all of the McMahons celebrating in the ring. Don't rule out one of the McMahons joining Legacy in this, either.

I hated it when heel HHH won in 2000, and when heel Austin won the year after - WrestleMania is the one show every year where the main heels are always supposed to get their comeuppance. However, it's gone the other way before, and if it does again tonight, I'm all for it.

Winner: Triple H
My Pick: Randy Orton

Recommendation: ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

Wrestlemania in a down year is still Wrestlemania. WATCH THIS TONIGHT before it's spoiled for you tomorrow. This is the must-buy every year, so shell out the dollars and enjoy the spectacle.

I'll be back later this week with a recap; until then, Happy WrestleMania Day, one and all.
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