Cyber Sunday Preview

Getting you ready for the show, even though it happened yesterday.

Let's get cracking, eh?

WCW US Championship
Shelton Benjamin vs, Fans' Choice (R-Truth, MVP, Festus)
This was on the preshow, and may not be on my copy - I would think the best match would be MVP, but I doubt the fans like him enough to spend money on costly MVP-boosting text messages.

Winner: Shelton over Festus, choice of children from coast to coast
My Pick: Shelton over R-Truth, since I've yet to see R-Truth.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane
Fans' Choice Match (Falls Count Anywhere, No Holds Barred, 2 out of 3 Falls)
I'd prefer 2 of 3 falls, I guess, since these guys generally seem better if they stay in the ring. These are all essentially the same match, but these two have chemistry together.

Winner: Kane
My Pick: Rey, who looked quite rejuvenated in his last PPV match.

WWF Intercontinental Championship
Santino Marella vs. Fans' Choice (Roddy Piper, Goldust, Honky Tonk-y Man)Obviously not the workrate classic of the evening, but I'm looking forward to it as much as anything. You, I, and everyone watching wants the same thing here.

Winner & My Pick: Santino, beating the Honky Tonk Man with a guitar shot and adding another week to the Honk-A-Meter!

Tag Team Match
Fans' Choice (Noble/Mickie vs. Regal/Layla, Cryme Tyme vs. Morrison & The Miz, CM Punk & Kofi vs. Rhodes/Dibiase)
The stip matches on this show are all of the "three choices that are really all the same thing" variety; on the other hand, this match and the next do a better job of piquing curiosity and presenting interesting alternatives than any other matches on the card. I certainly don't want to see a low-grade mixed-gender tag that belongs on RAW, but both of the other two matchups have been built well and would be a welcome chance to see these guys showcased on pay-per-view. I'm fine with either, although if pressed, I'd opt to see the title defense.

Winner: Rhodes/Dibiase over Punk/Kingston
My Pick: Exactly that

ECW Championship
Matt Hardy vs. Fans' Choice (Mark Henry, Evan Bourne, Finlay) Here's the best use of the Cyber Sunday gimmick that we're likely to see - one opponent who's been a tad overexposed lately, and two who could have dynamic yet dramatically different styles of matches with Mr. Hardy. I'd be happy to see either one, although my vote is for Bourne.

Winner: Matt Hardy over Finlay
My Pick: Evan Bourne over Matt Hardy; give this man the ECW ball and let him run with it, by gawd.

Large Man Showdown
The Undertaker vs. The Big Show
Fans' Choice Match (Knockout Match, I Quit Match, Last Man Standing Match)
Quick: What's the difference between a Knockout Match and a Last Man Standing match? You don't know either?

I was loving the happy-go-lucky stoner Big Show that existed for 3 minutes at Unforgiven before his heel turn, but really, I don't mind either guy winning here, and the match may even be a pleasant surprise like the one last month.

Winner: Undertaker in a Last Man Standing Knockout Match
My Pick: Big Show, by KO

WWF Championship
Triple H vs. Fans' Choice (Jeff Hardy, Vladimir Kozlov, Triple Threat Match)
For months, I've tepidly supported HHH in the hopes that the WWF belt would be restored to its former lustre. I don't mean this in any sort of abstract sense; quite literally, I want the appearance of the thing to change. For my money, nothing looked better than the Attitude-era jewel of a belt, and not much looks worse than the cubic zirconia hubcap that Trips is currently toting. Surely, I thought, the guy with actual clout would want to carry around something that looked respectable.

Well, that switch hasn't happened yet. I also happened to read Bret Hart's book this week (best wrestling book of all time, hands down, nothing can beat it ever) and you know what? Fuck Triple H, that's what. Fuck him and his tired act of toilet humor for 10 year olds. Let's bring back some of that good ol'-fashioned 2003-era hatred and get the belt off of this prick, eh?

Winner: Triple H in a triple threat
My Pick: Kozlov, put him over Hardy if need be, I don't care. Fuck Triple H.

WCW Championship
Batista vs. Chris Jericho
Fans Pick Referee (Stone Cold Steve Austin, Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels)
Seth Mates over at Newsday is saying that Batista gets the win here, and I can see his case - especially with Orton on his way back and in need of a babyface counterpart. I'm officially swayed, and Michaels as a guest ref would give them an easy way to pull it off. The WWF is pushing Stone Cold for this spot, and may well fix the voting (hell, all of these could be fixed for all we know). Really though, the last thing I want to see is a hobbled, tired Austin in this spot. If he does win the vote, let's hope that JR's blog postings about Austin being in great shape haven't just been friendly reassurances.

Winner: Batista
My Pick: Chris Jericho

Recommendation: Um, well, it's Monday night as I'm writing this, so I'd recommend that you, erm, order the replay. You know, the special replay, the one that costs $0.

I'll post opinions on said replay later in the week. Enjoy the show, folks.
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No Mercy Preview

A Ladder Match for the Ages, and six other matches that you'll probably forget by tomorrow....

Let's get right to it...

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane
It's not WWF style to promote a stipulation like Rey losing his mask and not deliver on it. If it must be done, let's just hope they don't have him start rapping like WCW did.

Winner: Kane
My Pick: Rey Rey, and for this to just be a quick opener

#1 Contender's Match
Batista vs. JBL
Let's see - next month's pay per view has a voting gimmick? And there are multiple challengers to both heavyweight belts? Hmmmm.

They usually just go with the vote-for-the-opponent gimmick for one title match, and my money's on that being for Smackdown. Batista goes over here methinks, with the vote being on, I don't know, the stipulation or the guest ref or something. If this is a double DQ or a disputed finish, though, I wouldn't be surprised.

Winner: Batista
My Pick: Batista - I don't want to see JBL in the ring any more than you do.

ECW Championship
Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry
Eh, don't really care. As much as I keep reading about how well-done ECW has been over the past few months, the title itself just doesn't have much meaning.

Winner: Hardy, probably
My Pick: Ehhhh, why not Hardy, I guess

The Undertaker vs. The Big Show
Taker is supposedly hurt, bad, and Triple H probably needs as many heel challengers as possible for the Cyber Sunday voting. Chalk this one up to the Show, and if anyone from the WWF is reading this, please know that we're very, very thankful this spot is going to Show and not Khali.

Winner: The Big Show
My Pick: The Big Show

WWF Women's Championship
Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle
Glamazon on PPV hopefully means Glamarella on PPV, and that's perfectly fine with me, even if we don't get a PPV Honk-A-Meter.

Winner: Beth Phoenix
My Pick: Santino, er, Beth

WWF Championship
Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy
And here's your clusterf*ck ending for the evening. In a lovely bit of WWF subtle foreshadowing, Vladimir Kozlov is actually IN THE VIDEO PACKAGES for this match, as if it were a triple-threat. You think he might be interfering here? Count on a disputed finish to lead to whatever they come up with for Cyber Sunday.

Winner: HHH (get a new belt, you dealbreaking bastard)
My Pick: HHH

WCW Championship
Ladder Match
Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels
Well - if you're buying the show, this is probably why. This is it, apparently - the end, at least for the next few months, of the best feud of the year. Each of these guys has been in their fair share of absolutely astounding ladder matches, and Michaels in particular is associated with the match more than anyone else. Love Jericho as champ, and totally didn't see it coming at all at Unforgiven - I would've bet a fortune that Orton wouldve been the last participant. This will likely hit the four-star barrier at a minimum, and could easily be the match of the year. The more time they can possibly work in for this, the better.

Winner: Chris Jericho
My Pick: Chris Jericho

Recommendation:

Well, it finally happened last month - the WWF shut down most of the live streaming sites, and enterprising folks like myself were forced to wait until the show ended before stealing a copy of it. I don't really understand where they're coming from on this, as it ws always my theory that they tacitly allowed it - moneyless folks like myself aren't going to buy the shows in most cases, but hey, if we're willing to put up with the spotty reception and frequent outages, why not allow interest in your product to burgeon by looking the other way on illicit feeds?

I can't recommend that you buy this show, really - $40 is quite a bit of money to spend on a PPV that's likely to have one memorable match. Normally, I'd tell you to go the cheapskate internet route, but that's likely to prove a challenge if you want to see this live. Personally, I'm going to give it a try, and then probably just download the thing as soon as it's over. If you do buy the thing, though, you're likely to get a good deal of your money's worth on the main event. With most of the other matches, I'm not so sure I'd watch them if they were on free television.

Enjoy the show, folks.
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