Who Don't Love A Bash Preview?

Gotta say, I like the "old-school Royal Rumble poster" look that they're going for here. The Bash logo itself, though, looks like it belongs on a box of fruit snacks.

Picks, in projected match order:

WCW United States Championship
Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin
Good for them! It's not often that one of the last-minute additions to the card is something worth watching, but if Hardy and Benjamin get ten minutes, they can really go. It's great to see both of them get some time on a pay-per-view.

Winner: Matt Hardy
My Pick: The same, but no qualms with Benjamin winning either.

WCW Tag Team Championship
The Miz & Morrison vs. The Edge Guys vs. Finlay & Hornswoggle vs. Jesse & Festus
It's not on television, so a lot of people are probably missing out, but "The Dirt Sheet" over at wwe.com is quite hilarious, and displays exactly why Miz & Morrison are the best tag team in the business right now. The other teams involved in this all seem to need names in the worst way, although the gimmick of "slow guy who flips the fuck out when a bell is rung" has potential.

Winners: The Miz & Morrison
My Pick: One and the same. Long live the champs.

NYC Parking Lot Brawl
John Cena vs. JBL
This feud is getting repetitive, yes, but Cryme Time is fantastic in their new role as Cena's sidekicks. It would be nice if they'd follow suit by having Rhodes and DiBiase back JBL - you could easily give the rub to four guys and the Tag titles just by adding them to the mix. As long as Cena stops spray-painting "poopy" on limousines, this feud remains entertaining.

Cena and JBL had the best match of their career - to that point at least, for Cena - in an "I Quit" match that was an all-out brawl. Hopefully they can recapture some of that magic tonight, although JBL might be too injured for that to happen.

Anyways, color me a CTC fan. Especially since I'll be boozing tonight.

Winner: John Cena
My Pick: Cena. Why can't this be a Long Island Parking Lot Brawl? NassauColiseum isn't really anywhere near Manhattan, you know....

ECW Championship
Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer
Let's keep this short, eh?

Dreamer's the hometown hero, and giving him the belt here would be a cool moment, but it won't happen. I'm guessing this is under 5 minutes. I hope.

Winner: Mark Henry
My Pick: Tommy Dreamer

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris JerichoThis is the big one - a long-term, slow-burn angle that's been done beautifully so far, with amazing promo and in-ring work from both guys and real reasons for the feud. I'm loving this feud, and it's the main reason I'll be watching tonight. If any match clears the ol' 4-star bar, it's gonna be this, and the WWF could certainly wring another month or two out of this angle. When the execution on every area of the feud is this excellent, there's no such thing as doing it to death.

Winner: Chris Jericho, via Cadeterference
My Pick: Y2J, because I can't bring myself to root for Michaels, ever. I must say, though, Michaels at this point is truly the best wrestler in the company.

Divas Championship
Michelle McCool vs. Natalya Neidhart
Keep it short, give the crowd a rest, and don't risk blinding them by exposing them to the hideous belt itself.

Winner: The smoking-hot Michelle McCool
My Pick: Natalya, who will be the first Hart to hold WWF gold since Owen, I believe.

WCW Championship
CM Punk vs. Batista
Wow, how's about shaking things up?

The Punk title win on RAW was a great moment, and I just hope that they're serious with him. I like Batista, but I'll be marking out like a little girl for Punk in this match. The ratings have been up for his segments (and in general, the week after he won), but they've been having Batista mutilate him at house shows, and I absolutely buy the possibility of a title change here. If they hold off and stick by this guy - maybe having him drop it to Cena eventually - they've got another star on their hands.

And tomorrow, hopefully they have Punk take a picture with the belt where he doesn't look like a schmuck.

Winner: CM Punk. Right? They won't take it off of him yet. Right????
My Pick: CM Punk

WWF Championship
Triple H vs. Edge
A few things:

- Alright: since this title is now miles away from Cena, can we PLEASE go back to the old belt and discard the retarded spinner? There were rumours pre-draft of a spinner being made for the WCW belt, which some sites (including this one) thought to be a sign that Cena was going to Smackdown. At this point, it seems like if that rumor were true, its a sign that they'll be defouling the WCW belt whenever it inevitably goes back to Cena. If that happens, and they don't reciprocate by restoring this one, I'll be insanely pissed.
- Bret Hart revealed this week that he still keeps in close contact with Edge and Jericho. That's a good enough reason for me to back Edge in this one.
- It's been mentioned by many people already, and I have no idea how it happened, but Vickie Guerrero's heat is already at "nuclear", and steadily moving towards "thermonuclear". She's just turned into a great performer, and they seem to be in an odd spot now - the next step in the storyline seems to be Edge abandoning Vickie, but she's currently more of a heel than he is. Regardless, I love La Familia, and I don't want this angle ending. Hopefully there's a swerve tonight, and Edge takes the belt. More likely, however, would be a returning Undertaker costing Edge the strap.

Winner: Triple H
My Pick: Edge

Recommendation: I can't go the full way and ask you to buy this one - I really hesitate to do that for anything that's not one of the Big Four, and the Bash is traditionally one of the most skippable PPVs of the year. These things are expensive, you know?

The IC title and the Raw tag titles are nowhere to be seen on this show, only three weeks after the sudden youth movement. Leaving the new champions in the lurch doesn't seem wise, especially with the "Divas Championship" being defended tonight. There are far too may titles in this company, and here's how you can tell - if they're all defended on one pay-per-view, that's a nine-match card that would leave far too many wrestlers hung out to dry. Tonight's PPV, in addition to missing the title matches, is also missing Jeff Hardy, Kennedy, Kane, Umaga, and Carlito, all of whom would seem to be healthy and ready to go. We've come a long way, baby - this is one hell of a deep roster. I think I'm thankful for the end of branded PPVs, only because this Bash card looks much better than the Bash looked when it was Smackdown-only. A lot of talented guys are getting left behind, though.

I'd be lying if I said I weren't going to check out this show. Michaels-Jericho should be worth the time invested, the two title matches are fresh, and there are about three other matches that truly have the potential to deliver, Parking Lot Brawl included. Watch this one illegally, save the bucks for SummerSlam, and hope they throw some kind of big-time stipulation match onto that card.

Finally, with the PPV emanating from Long Island tonight, I have to mention the great work that's been done all week long by Seth Mates and Alfonso Castillo over at The Steel Cage - it's been a joy to read (especially the live chat), and I certainly hope that the good folks at the Nassau Coliseum gets an unforgettable show tonight.

Enjoy the show, folks. Read more!

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