Remember last month, when I told you to skip the Great American Bash and save your money? Tonight, I advise you to spend it.
Coming off of the Bash, I wasn't expecting that the SummerSlam card would amount to much, and these fears seemed to be confirmed when the Great Khali was announced as part of a title match. For the past two years, very few WWF pay per views have excited me as little as Summerslam, and last year's effort seemed particularly pitiful at the time.
This year, though, I think they're going to hit one out of the park.
Picks below, in projected match order:
Jeff Hardy vs. MVP
This one is in doubt now, as Hardy may or may not have broken his neck (yeeeargghhh)earlier this week. A shame, too - I love the fact that this is on the card. A glut of titles in the WWF usually means a paucity of non-title grudge matches on major PPVs, but this was billed as a Grudge Match, and honestly, I hope MVP continues his blood feud with the Hardy clan until the end of time. I suppose Shelton or someone could be thrown in here if Hardy's unable to go, but I'd prefer to see these two.
Winner: MVP, if the match happens
My Pick: MVP, or Hardy via Matterference
Winners Take All Tag Team Match
WWF Intercontinental Championship & WWF Women's Championship
Kofi Kingston & Mickie James vs. Santino Marella & Beth Phoenix
Really, I love the undercard of this show almost as much as I love the main event. Santino makes his glorious return to pay-per-view in a match that takes the obligatory women's title defense and tacks on Summerslam exposure for the IC belt and Kofi Kingston. I have a feeling that if Team Santino wins, Santino will somehow be the one that ends up with the Women's championship. I'm actually fine with that, although I'd love another IC run for him as well. Kofi's great and all, but Santino's a guy who could really save the IC belt from irrelevance, and at the same time be made more legitimate himself by holding it. They could be a perfect pair if the writers are so inclined.
Winners: Santino (Women's) and Beth Phoenix (Intercontinental)
My Pick: Same people, opposite titles.
ECW Championship
Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry
I genuinely like both guys, and I'm happy to see them get a pay-per-view spot. That said, let's hope that they keep it short, eh?
Winner: Mark Henry
My Pick: Mark Henry
WWF Championship
Triple H vs. The Great Khali
I suppose if you're going to force Khali into the title picture, it makes sense to do it on a show that has a Hell in a Cell match to pick up the slack. Let's just hope that it ends here. I have no problem with pushing big men, but if it's a sustained push, Big Show is about twenty times more deserving.
Winner: Triple H
My Pick: Triple H, pretty please.
A Very Special Announcement from Shawn Michaels
If he references Losing His Smile, I will be Losing My Mind in delight. I looooooove this Jericho feud, love the new-look, new-attitude Jericho, love Lance Cade getting the rub because of it all - I'm just enjoying this storytelling so much, and I hope they continue the slow burn until Survivor Series, or even Wrestlemania. This won;t be a match proper, but it still figures to be entertaining as all hell, and if you really think that Michaels is permanently retiring here, I have to question whether or not you've watched wrestling before.
John Cena vs. Batista
Welp, this has been a letdown. Seth Mates has already discussed this over at Newsday, but the booking leading into this is pretty much a textbook example of how to lose money. Not even three weeks of buildup for (allegedly) the WWF's best remaining "dream match" would leave fans wanting more no matter what, but worse, they decided to quickly roll out the overused Russo stock storyline of "unlikely tag partners win titles but hate each other". I have to think that this match wasn't the original plan; everything just seems far too rushed. As for the match itself, I have no idea what to expect, but whether or not this is a memorable encounter will likely be dictated by the Conseco Fieldhouse crowd. At its best, this could have been a Hogan-Warrior showdown, but the fans haven't really been given much reason to invest themselves, and I wouldn't blame them for a lack of enthusiasm.
As much as the build has disappointed, this is still Cena vs. Batista for the first time ever, and I'll be marking out like a madman.
Winner: Batista
My Pick: Cena, assuming sufficient intoxication by this point in the night.
WCW Championship
CM Punk vs. JBL
I'm not sure that Bradshaw could do much with anyone at this point, but after seeing what CM Punk got out of Batista last month, as well as the chemistry that the two had on RAW this week....this could easily steal the show. I have to say, the criticism they're getting for booking Punk as an underdog champ doesn't seem to be justified. I sincerely believe that he could very well lose any high-profile match that he's in, and that even extends to this match. I hope JBL's had his last championship run, but you never know what Vince is thinking, and he's always liked the guy.
Winner: CM Punk
My Pick: CM Punk
Hell in a Cell
The Undertaker vs. Edge
Folks, this is it. This is the reason to buy the show, this is the reason you should be looking forward to it all day Sunday, and this is likely to be the most memorable part of Summerslam. I'm thinking they'll put it on last, because it's Hell in a Cell and because it's the return of the Undertaker and the culmination of a feud that's been going on since the spring of 2007. Every note of this storyline has been hit well. Edge's work, especially as of late, has completely transformed his character and solidified him as the BEST heel in the business. He's somehow been able to draw SYMPATHY for Vickie Guerrero, heretofore the most hated heel the WWF has had in years.
The last HITC match was at Survivor Series, and Edge cost the Taker a win with a camera shot to the face. For anyone who bemoans the lack of long-term planning in the WWF - sometimes rightly so, especially when it pertains to RAW - you need only look at this feud as an example of how fantastic it can really be when they get it right. I can't wait until the 16-month feud comes to a head in the Cell, and if this isn't the main event, I don't know what would be.
Batista and the Undertaker's match in November was a bloody brawl, and while that's certainly welcome here, I also would really love to see them climb the new, larger cage. We know what we're getting from the Undertaker here - the guy's been a fixture in Hell in a Cell matches since their inception. This is Edge's chance to make his mark in the fashion of Michaels and Foley - to work with his opponent, do things that the Undertaker can't quite do, take some chances, and make this one a true epic. The chances of that, as well as the culmination of the whole Vickie/La Famiglia storyline, have me positively giddy with anticipation for this match. Edge seems like the kind of guy who's cognizant of his place in history, and I'm sure he's ready to pull out all of the stops. The line between jaw-dropping moment and life-threatening injury is perilously thin in this type of match, and it may be a tad uncomfortable to watch live, but I've got a gut feeling that he's going to be the first to go off the top of that thing.
Winner: The Undertaker
My Pick: Edge, win or lose, to take his career to another level
Recommendation: If this were a one-match card, and that one match were the Undertaker-Edge HITC, I would still probably tell you to buy it. Aside from that likely Match of the Year candidate, we also have the two title matches, the first-ever Batista-Cena showdown, and a solid undercard. Bust open the piggy bank. Do it.
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